Your Parenting Plan Could Include the Right of First Refusal

 Posted on October 06, 2026 in Family Law

While parenting after a divorce or a breakup of unmarried parents will nearly always be challenging, your child will benefit from determined cooperation between you and your former partner. Divorced or unmarried parents are not only allowed to create a parenting plan, but they are fully expected by the court to do so. One element that must be considered in drafting a parenting plan is each parent’s right of first refusal and whether such rights are appropriate for a particular situation.

At The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., our Kane County, IL family law attorneys can help you draft a parenting plan with your spouse. We have over 25 years of experience, and we have helped many clients reach amicable agreements through mediation and close negotiations.

What Is the Right of First Refusal?

At some point, most parents will need someone to watch their children. This, as you might expect, may be frustrating at times for a parent whose time with his or her child is already limited due to a divorce. On the other hand, a parent in that situation may also be looking for additional ways to participate in the child’s life. Including the right of first refusal in your parenting plan could directly address both concerns.

You and your child’s other parent may agree that if either of you ever needs someone to watch your child during your respective scheduled parenting time, you will first contact each other to offer the opportunity    (750 ILCS 5/602.3). For example, if your parenting time is scheduled for a certain weekend, but you are required to leave town for work, your agreement could require you to ask the other parent if he or she would like extra time with your child before finding someone else.

What Provisions Should a Parenting Plan Include for the Right of First Refusal?

While the concept of the right of first refusal is fairly straightforward, its implementation can be complex if you do not plan carefully in advance. If you elect to include the right of first refusal in your parenting plan, you will need to agree upon several elements, including:

• Situations that will invoke the right of first refusal. Will you need to contact the other parent if you need a sitter for an evening or only if the need is for several days?
• How you and the other parent will notify each other of the offer and responses. Are text messages acceptable or do you need to actually speak to one another?
• How transportation will be arranged. You may decide that the person who offers must also drop off the child, or to base decisions on the immediate situation.
• Any other necessary considerations to reasonably facilitate the right of first refusal.

By addressing these concerns in advance and in detail, you and the other parent will have a better understanding of your obligations and responsibilities regarding care for your child.

What Happens When a Parent Violates the Right of First Refusal in 2026?

When a parent ignores the right of first refusal in a parenting plan, the other parent has options. A right of first refusal is part of a court order. If your child's other parent keeps leaving your child with sitters or relatives without asking you first, you can take the issue back to court.

Illinois law lets a judge respond when a parent does not follow the terms of a parenting plan. The judge can choose from several remedies. The court may give you make-up parenting time for the time you missed. It may order the other parent to attend a parenting class or counseling. In some cases, the judge may require the parent to pay your attorney fees and court costs. Repeated or serious violations can even lead to a finding of contempt.

Keep a record of each violation. Write down the date, who watched your child, and how you found out. Save texts and emails. This proof can help show a pattern instead of a single mistake.

Does a Parenting Plan Have to Be Approved by the Court?

An Illinois parenting plan must be approved by the court before it becomes a binding order. Parents usually have 120 days after a divorce or custody case begins to file a proposed plan. You and the other parent can file one plan together, or each of you can file your own.

If you agree on a plan, the judge will review it. The judge will usually accept it unless the plan does not serve your child's best interests. If you cannot agree, the judge will decide the terms after looking at the facts of your case. That can include whether to add a right of first refusal.

An informal deal you make outside of court is hard to enforce. Judges enforce what is written in the order. If you want the right of first refusal to carry weight, it should be part of the plan the court approves. You can also ask the court to change an existing plan to add it later.

Is the Right of First Refusal Appropriate for Your Family?

The right of first refusal works well for some families, but it is not the right fit for everyone. It tends to work best when parents live close to each other and can talk without much conflict. In those cases, extra time with a child is easy to arrange, and both parents benefit.

Parents who live far apart may struggle with quick handoffs. If there is a history of high conflict, constant contact may lead to more fights. Some parents also use the rule to keep tabs on each other. Clear limits, such as a minimum number of hours, can help prevent these issues.

At The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you decide whether this provision makes sense for your child. Our firm can draft terms that fit your schedule and protect your time. We can also help you enforce or change a plan that is not working.

Contact Our Kane County, IL Family Law Attorneys

If you have additional questions about the right of first refusal or any other requirement of Illinois parenting plans, contact our experienced Aurora, IL child custody lawyers. Our skilled team will help you find the answers you need and provide the responsible representation you deserve. Call 630-409-8184 to schedule a free, confidential consultation at The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. today.