Posted on October 12, 2016 in Divorce

As most people are aware, somewhere between 30 and 40 percent of all marriages today will eventually end in divorce. While this number has declined in recent years, a 60-70 percent success rate for marriage is still not all that encouraging. Marriages can break down for any number of reasons, and, in most cases, divorce is the result of a combination of many factors, some within the spouses’ control and some not.

A Challenging Journey

The process of divorce, however, can be extremely difficult with many decisions to be made and arrangements to be negotiated. This does not even take into account the emotional and psychological struggle that many divorcing individuals go through as the process goes along. The cumulative effect of all of the difficulties can be overwhelming at times, but some experts suggest that there may be a way to ease your mind a little and to provide emotional relief to your spouse at the same time. Confessing, or taking responsibility for wrongs you may have committed, can go a long way in making the divorce process much smoother for the both of you.

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 Posted on October 07, 2016 in Divorce

October is Domestic Awareness Month, and it is important to note that domestic violence is not limited to physical actions like hitting and kicking. In many cases, emotional abuse or psychological abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse, and can certainly lead to the breakdown of a marriage. In fact, for many years, repeated mental or emotional cruelty was considered grounds for divorce in Illinois. While all divorces in the state must now be on the no-fault grounds of irreconcilable differences, it is still important to be able to recognize such victimization when it occurs. One type of this emotional abuse is referred to as “gaslighting.”

Does your partner often deny any knowledge of events or conversations that you know took place? On the opposite end, does he or she insist things happened which did not? Does he or she accuse you of misremembering past events? Does your partner ever insist that you said or did something of which you have no relocation? If so, you may be a victim of gaslighting.

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 Posted on September 30, 2016 in Divorce

When you are involved in a long-term committed relationship or a marriage—communication is one of the most important keys to happiness. Those who are able to communicate tend to enjoy higher levels of marital satisfaction and a better understanding of one another. Those who cannot or who only speak to one another superficially are likely to find their marriage spiraling quickly toward divorce.

The Concept of Stonewalling

Spouses can easily become frustrated with each other for any number of reasons. The stresses of day-to-day life can begin to drive a wedge between marital partners. Careless behavior, bad habits, and other minor annoyances start to become major issues if and when communication breaks down.

Marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., was the first relationship expert to use the term “stonewalling” to describe the behavior of a spouse who refuses to engage in conversation with his or her partner. Stonewalling, in effect, is one partner shutting down and preventing effective communication from taking place.

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 Posted on September 21, 2016 in Divorce

While it can no longer be formally cited as grounds for divorce in Illinois, infidelity is still a major problem for many married couples. But, what causes cheating? How can so many people make such a choice when they know that their actions will hurt their partners? As you might expect, those who cheat tend to do so for a variety of reasons, and understanding what they are may help prevent unexpected surprises in your relationship.

Personal Reasons

For some people, the inclination to cheat may be almost hard-wired. Gender, personality, and individual values may make an individual more inclined to be unfaithful. Men are more likely to cheat than women, while those with strong conservative religious and political beliefs are often less likely to commit acts of infidelity.

Relationship Factors

Sociologists and marriage experts suggest that a person who is unhappy or unsatisfied in his or her marriage—consciously or not—may be more prone to cheating. A spouse who feels fulfilled, appreciated, and genuinely happy in the relationship is less likely to seek another source of such feelings. When cheating does occur due to relationship factors, the couple must consider carefully whether or not the marriage is worth saving, because doing so will take a great deal of work.

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 Posted on September 16, 2016 in Child Support

Earlier this year, a Cook County judge ordered a Herscher car dealership to pay $2.3 million in fines for failing to withhold child support payments from the paychecks of a former employee. The decision was the largest child-support related ruling in the history of Illinois, but it seems that the dealership will only be held responsible for part of the original fine.

The Daily Journal in Kankakee reports that dealership and the woman who filed the original complaint have reached an agreement to close the matter for good. The details of the settlement, including the final amount to be paid, have not been released, but both sides say they are satisfied with the outcome.

Unprecedented Fine

Back in April, Cook County Judge Bonita Coleman ruled that Country Chevrolet in Herscher failed to comply with state laws requiring the withholding of wages for child support. The dealership argued that the worker in question—the company’s finance manager—was an independent contractor and not an employee, so the law did not apply. Judge Coleman disagreed and ordered the dealership to pay almost $8,000 in back child support for the nine months the man was employed. The judge also levied a fine of $100 per day for the more than two years it took for the dealership to make appropriate payments to the Illinois State Disbursement Unit. The total fine was approximately $2.3 million, the biggest such fine on record in the state.

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 Posted on September 14, 2016 in Prenuptial & Postnuptial Agreements

In the United States, an estimated 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce. That number jumps to 60 percent for second and subsequent marriages. In survey after survey, one of the top issues that cause major rifts between married couples is finances. Different spending habits, different saving habits, and other differing perspectives on how money should be handled can do a lot of damage in a marriage. For example, one survey revealed that 47 percent of the couples surveyed had completely opposite spending and saving habits, which led to much stress in the marriage.

These statistics make a good argument as to why it is critical for engaged couples to have serious discussions regarding finances before they get married. Knowing how your future spouse handles money can help avoid big surprises after the vows are exchanged.

Future Career Goals

Knowing what your significant other’s future career and income goals are will help give you good insight of where money ranks in their priority list. Does your future spouse have a career which requires long hours away from home? Or does your future spouse have a more family-oriented outlook and is not as concerned with advancements in their line of work? Understanding what each other’s future goals are will help the two of you achieve balance in your marriage.

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 Posted on September 07, 2016 in Property Division

In an Illinois divorce, the property and assets of a couple are equitably (fairly) divided. What a lot of couples fail to take into account is that this process of division also applies to their debt. It does not just disappear, after all. Be prepared and protect your financial future. Know how to deal with debt during the divorce process, and how you can effectively protect yourself from debt that should no longer be considered “yours” once everything is completed.

Taking a Proactive Approach to Debt Before the Divorce

All too often, couples wait put off dealing with debt until the last possible minute, assuming it will all just work itself out during the divorce process. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Instead, debt may be wrongly assigned to a party that cannot reasonably afford it. However, even if debt is equitably distributed during the divorce, failure to think ahead can come back to haunt the one who should have been “off the hook.” This can be especially true in situations involving joint debts, such as joint credit cards, mortgages, and other installment loans.

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 Posted on August 26, 2016 in Divorce

Most of us think nothing of posting a funny story, sharing some family photos or liking someone’s status on social media. Nearly 60 percent of Americans are on Facebook, and staying connected to family and friends via the internet has become second nature.  However, what you post on social media sites like Facebook may affect your divorce case more than you would think.

Online Privacy

Although Facebook does have privacy features such as the ability to block someone from seeing your posts, a divorce is a tricky situation when it comes to social media. If a person is or used to be married, chances are that they and their spouse have many mutual friends on these websites. They might be a part of the same groups or organizations.  It is very easy for a party to use these privacy loopholes to spy on the other spouse’s behavior.

For example, if you are unable to pay child support or spousal support payments but post vacation pictures online, your spouse can use this information against you in court. You may also be tempted to vent or share your frustrations about a spouse on social media. These rants, taken out of context, may paint a picture of you or your character that is inaccurate.

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 Posted on August 24, 2016 in Divorce

No matter what the situation may be, some people are better at making tough decisions than others. Certain individuals are able to quickly choose a course of action and begin proactively pursuing their goals. Other people, however, require more time to consider the implications of their decision, weighing their options carefully before making a choice. Of course, there are extremes in both groups, with some making rash decisions regardless of the consequences and others who overthink the situation while paralyzed into inaction. When the issue is something insignificant, like where to have dinner tonight, the ability to make a decision is not all that important, though an inability to do so may still be annoying. But what about the decision to file for divorce? Does it matter who makes the decision to file the petition first?

A Level Playing Field

From strictly a legal standpoint, there is little to be gained from getting to the courthouse ahead of your spouse. If you file first, you will be known as the petitioner throughout the proceedings, and your spouse will be the respondent. With your petition, you will be able to make certain claims and requests of the court, so there may seem to be some advantage to being the petitioner. However, the respondent will have the same opportunities to make claims and file motions, both in response to yours and of his or her own accord. As the process moves forward, both parties will have the chance to present evidence and contribute to the judge’s final decision.

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 Posted on August 19, 2016 in Divorce

When you are preparing to begin the divorce process, you are likely to have many questions. You are probably wondering how much it is going to cost, how long it might take, and what type of expectations will be placed on you. There is also the ever-present question of hiring a divorce lawyer, as countless online resources offer advice on how to handle a divorce on your own. Going through a divorce without the assistance of a qualified lawyer is not advisable, especially if you and your spouse own significant assets or have children together. But do you each need to hire you own attorney or can one lawyer represent both you and your spouse?

Conflict of Interest

The answer to this question can be found in the Illinois Rules of Professional Conduct, the formal guidelines the govern the practice of law in the state. Rule 1.7 states that “a lawyer shall not represent a client if the representation involves a concurrent conflict of interest.” The rule goes on to say that such a conflict exists if “the representation of one client will be directly adverse to another client.” For a divorce situation, this means that a single attorney cannot represent both you and your spouse, as your interests are, by definition, in conflict with one another.

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